“Seed from the East” – A Trip to the Homeland (Part 4)

As I was told, once my parents landed in Korea, they had four days. When they arrived at the orphanage in Il San, they got to visit with us for awhile but stayed the night somewhere else. (See photo of me with my parents in the yard.) Eventually I was picked up and flown to my new home in La Crescenta, CA. My Dad recounted, every chance he got, that on the flight back, when my mother left me with him to use the bathroom, I screamed the entire time at the top of my lungs until she returned.

Needless to say, I was a mess at three years old. I had boils, hair lice and worms. My two front teeth were rotten and had to be pulled out. (It took a long time for the adult teeth to grow in.) Plus, I had tuberculosis.

After looking at all the files my parents kept of the adoption process, I am truly amazed that the Holt Adoption Program was able to get Visas, adoption papers signed, and physicals approved for seventy-eight children for that charter flight on November 29, 1963.

In the book, “Seed from the East,” the story is told, in part, through the numerous letters from Harry in Korea. Things he wrote about, I remember being told about myself:

The children didn’t sleep in beds. They slept on the floor. My mother found me sleeping on the floor at home. It took awhile for me to get used to the bed.

They didn’t wear shoes. I had never worn shoes before. Captured in the 8mm footage, I sit down and won’t walk because the shoes hurt my feet.

We ate oatmeal in the orphanage. Living in America, I refused to eat oatmeal. To this day, I am unable eat it from scratch.

When the children arrived in Oregon, they were scared of the family dog. In Korea, dogs were known as vicious. As I was told, I climbed up on the picnic table and screamed when I saw the family dog, Susie. She had just been house-trained and was relegated to the backyard. Mom said we watched each other through the glass door. Eventually, she became “my” dog and we were inseparable. She slept on my bed, followed me to school (until we got a fence), walked with me everywhere in the neighborhood, and protected me. She died my senior year in high school.

Up until I was nine or ten years old, every Thanksgiving my parents would bring out the 8mm projector and show the trip to Korea. Every year, my brothers would laugh at the part where I would stop walking. At some point, I had expressed that I didn’t want to watch the movie of the trip ever again. In 1990, I had the footage transferred to VHS tape and gave it to my Dad on Father’s Day.

Recently, the Reverend Bob Bock told me he was there at the airport when my parents returned from Korea with me. He was the Associate Minister at Hollywood Beverly Christian Church where my parents worked for fourteen years until 1969. He said he admired how my mother instilled my Korean heritage. Sadly, I shared with him that I fought it and she finally gave up.

Growing up in a predominantly Caucasian community meant, I was self-conscious about looking different. I remember distinctly, while in third grade, being harassed by other school children about the way I looked. As I recall, it was after school and I was playing with friends on the playground. When I got home from school I didn’t share this with my mother, but she knew something was wrong. (I‘m not sure if I’d been crying or just had an angry face.) She prodded and I finally told her what happened.

That day on the playground changed the way I viewed people who felt a need to make fun of someone else because of the color of their skin or the shape of their eyes. It has helped me endure prejudice, bigotry, and racist comments throughout my life.

When someone says to me, “Your people. . . ” I am truly baffled by what they mean. I know visiting Korea will be an educational, emotional, but, also a fun experience for me. I take with me gratitude and love for the two people that never gave up hope that I would be their little girl.

“Seed from the East” – A Trip to the Homeland (Part 3)

In 1961, a letter addressed to my parents, written on October 4, from Holt Adoption Program, stated that I was nine months old and that someone brought me to the orphanage from the Seoul City Hall where I had been abandoned on August 31.

Mandatory adoption filings with the Holt Adoption Program included:

• statement of adoption
• power of attorney
• affidavit of support for American Embassy
• copies of birth certificates of both parents
• copies of marriage certificate
• letters of recommendation of employer, pastor, and friends
• physicians report, and
• pictures of family and home.

Simultaneously, while in Korea, my parents had to go through an Immigration Orphan Investigation that was approved on November 2, 1961.

My parents endured their own months/years of red tape filings with Intercountry Adoption applications, State Department of Social Welfare, International Social Service and the United States Department of Justice.

The Holt agency was licensed in Oregon. They had their own adoption laws through the Oregon Child Welfare Department. California required that the home be approved by their state welfare agency before a child can be placed. The Holt Adoption Program felt, “thwarted in its attempt to place children there.”

Although approved for adoption through Holt, my parents still had to go through State of California Immigration Services, which meant they could not adopt by proxy. Preadoption requirements in California stated that, “The parent must see and observe the child during the adoption proceedings.” This, in turn, precluded any other statement in the law.

A letter dated November 10, 1961, passed along news from Harry Holt that, “The new adoption law in Korea says that every child that leaves Korea has to be adopted under the laws of the Republic of Korea. . . . It may mean that the only way the children can be adopted will be if the parents come over here and adopt them.”

My parents received a letter dated November 27, 1961, via Harry Holt, informing them, “. . . it is impossible, under the present set-up, to adopt your child through the laws for your state. The Korean Government has made us responsible for the child while it is in our charge and has given us the guardianship. This guardianship is assigned to us by the Mayor of Seoul. We are not allowed to transfer this guardianship to anyone except to an adoptive parent. Now, if it is possible in your state that we can transfer the guardianship directly to you, I think we could do the adoption. We cannot transfer the guardianship to a social welfare agency or to an adoption service or anything like that.”

Holt went on to state that he would not release any of his adoptive children to social services. The concern, once the child is transported through the International Social Service, there was no guaranteed the adoptive parents would receive him/her. He had a case where a child, “. . .was adopted through Probate Court but before probationary period of adoption was completed, the father died and the child was thrown into an orphanage and was there over a year.”

In a reply from a letter my parents wrote on March 6, 1962, the Holt Adoption Program replied that in California there seems to be no way to place children. Two different bills were up before the California legislature, “Bill 727, making it legal of a state agency licensed in its own state to place children in California and to file a necessary home study report with the courts. Bill 454 would make it possible for probation officers of the county to review and approve homes for the courts rather than the matter having to go to the welfare department.”

On June 4, 1963, Holt Adoption Program wrote, “We were thrilled to hear the bill passed the Judiciary Committee and that Senator Murdy says there should be no problem in its passing the Senate.”

Sadly, by August 28, 1963, a letter from the Holt Adoption Program in Oregon, stated, “As you know, we have been unable to place children in families in your state since the Federal Law governing immigration was changed making it compulsory to work under state law and in some instances through state welfare departments.”

Happily, the same letter went on to say that a parent in California contacted the Flying Tiger Airlines and explained the difficulties. “They listened with an open mind and compassionate heart. . . . If a group of 58 parents (that is, 116 parents or 58 couples) can be readied at the same time for travel to Korea, Flying Tiger will provide a charter plane, which will be under the sponsorship of Orange County Amko Club. They will provide this plane, which will be a Four Engine Constellation going over and return on Turbo Jet, which will carry 165 adults besides all the children. . . . There would be no charge for the children brought back. . . . Two stewardess would be provided for the trip to Korea and an additional two stewardesses would be added for the return trip. All food, including the babies’ food, would be supplied by the airlines, as well as diapers, etc. needed by the little ones. . . .”

My parents felt they had no other recourse but to fly to Korea and adopt me on Korean soil.

Based upon the stories and documentation I have, my parents were on a Flying Tiger Airline’s chartered flight as, “American Mothers for Korean Orphans.” (See photo of my parents with Bertha above at the airport.) Their flight was delayed by a day, due to the horrific news of President Kennedy’s assassination. The plane left Burbank, California, and refueled in Anchorage, Alaska. Then they were unexpectedly grounded in Japan due to a snowstorm.

“Seed from the East” – A Trip to the Homeland (Part 2)

Connecting with Molly Holt in Il San, Korea, peaked my interest in the Holt story. I sent her a YouTube link of a 3-minute movie I made titled, "1963_Korea_Trip." It's the trip my parents made to Korea in 1963. I took twenty minutes of 8mm footage and shaved it down to three minutes, leaving just images of my mother and me. Molly said she was nineteen years old then and would have been in Il San at the time. Her mother, Bertha Holt, was on the same flight as my parents.

This past month, pulling together still photos and 8mm footage of the trip to Korea in 1963, along with organizing all the paperwork my parents had on file from my adoption, has been an interesting journey to my past. I just finished reading “Seed from the East,” by Bertha Holt, written in 1956, five years after Harry Holt’s trip to Korea to adopt eight Amerasian children.

The Holts, Harry and Bertha, already had six children ranging from twenty-two to nine years old. They were farmers in rural Oregon. Practicing Christians they sponsored thirteen children after attending a film presentation about the plight of Korean war orphans. Over time, they decided they would adopt. How or how many was unknown at time.

Harry departed for Korea on May 30, 1951—Memorial Day weekend. He didn’t know when he’d return. In order to adopt more than two children from another country, the Holts needed the law to change. He initiated the process by persuading one of Oregon’s senators, Richard Neuberger, to sponsor a bill permitting a larger number of children to be adopted. He did. First, Senate Bill Number S.2312, “A Bill for Relief of Certain Korean War Orphans,” had to pass the Senate Judiciary Committee, Senate Immigration committee and the Senate itself. Once passed, Holt Bill HR 7043, moved through the House of Representatives in a similar fashion before being signed by the president. It didn’t happen overnight.

To complicate matters, in Korea, Harry didn’t have access to phones; it was 1951, in a war torn country. Some days there wasn’t electricity. He wrote home to Oregon on a regular basis but news (good and bad) was delayed. Visas for the children took a month to arrive by boat. (Whereas, if it had been by mail, it would have taken a week.) Illness was prevalent. Some of the children chosen died or were too ill to travel. Each child had to pass a physical in time for the trip to the States.

Harry was in Korea until October 14. It took three days to fly the children home, stopping each day in Japan, Hawaii, and Oregon. The Holt adoption story received national coverage in both Korea and America. Letters about the adopting mixed-race children oversees prompted the writing of “The Seed from the East.”

In 1961, a letter addressed to my parents, written on October 4, from Holt Adoption Program, stated that I was nine months old. On August 31, someone brought me to the orphanage from the Seoul City Hall where I had been abandoned.

“Seed from the East” – A Trip to the Homeland (Part 1)

In a week, I will embark on a trip to Korea where I was born. I have never had a desire to travel out the States. I’ve always been concerned about language barriers. Yet here I am, unable to speak the language and I’m going.

I am traveling with a woman, Sue, and her granddaughter, Jacqueline. (See above, photo of Sue and me in October, 2009.) We worked together over ten years ago. Recently, reconnected by way of Facebook, I learned of her plans to go to Korea. I am tagging along with the two ladies. Sue speaks Korean and I will rely heavily on her ability to communicate for me.

The first week we will be on a tour for eight days. We will visit JeJu Island, Pusan, Kjungyu, Gangneung, and Seoul. These places, other than Seoul, I had never heard of before but are places where the locals visit in their own country.

The second week, the three of us will be on our own in Seoul. During this week, Sue will get a chance to visit with some of her family and friends. She has lived in the U.S. for the past twenty years. Her parents are gone, but she has three sisters who remain in Korea. Her other two sisters are in the states. During the day we’ll make day trips in and around Seoul. In the evening, her family and friends will visit us.

I mentioned to Sue I wanted to visit Il San during our visit, not knowing at the time, the adoption agency, Holt International, still has a facility on the site. It is no longer an orphanage. Now it is a residential facility for the disabled. Since purchasing our tickets, I’ve done some research on Holt, called them and written them emails. I have scheduled a visit through Molly Holt to tour Il San Holt, thirty miles north of Seoul.

Sue suggested I look into Korean TV for searching for my birth parents. She thought Molly could help me and I should try and do this before our visit, just in case I could meet my birth parents. I had to file the appropriate paperwork through Holt International in Oregon. I’ve received copies of my files from the Oregon office, but it appears I will not receive my files from Seoul, Korea.

Searching for my birth parents is not my focus on this trip. Going on this trip has been impulsive. I turn fifty in November and have planned for many years to go on a big trip in 2010, just didn’t know exactly when or where.

In an earlier blog entry, “Giving Blood—The Gift of Life,” I wrote about Holt International and searching for my birth parents. This trip is not to learn who my birth parents are or were but about the land where I was born.

Paying It Forward - Chrysanthemum Tea

A few months ago, I was in a Whole Foods looking for something to drink. I wanted to avoid caffeine and refused to buy bottled water. Chrysanthemum tea in a bottle caught my eye. I took my first sip and was immediately transported back to my in-law apartment on 19th Avenue in San Francisco.

The year I moved off-campus at San Francisco State University (SFSU) I got a part-time job working as a cold-caller at Lehman Brothers Kuhn Loeb. They were an investment banking firm at the time, eventually changing owners/names and now defunct. My job was to call people on the phone from a stack of index cards. If I got a person on the phone, I would transfer the call to a broker.

By my senior year at SFSU, a couple of my pals—Janice and Lisi—and I, would trade off working for a senior broker, Mr. Lim. We no longer had to make cold calls; instead we answered Mr. Lim’s calls when he was on the phone, typed letters, and basically assisted him working as office assistants. Mr. Lim was first generation Chinese-American and most of his clients were Chinese. He was a very generous person and had a huge heart.

I don’t remember when a new gal, Sandra, started working at Lehman Brothers. As I recall she was related to one of Mr. Lim’s clients. We embraced her immediately. She was attending SFSU, also. She had a second job working at a café near Ocean Beach.

Sandra was also a generous person. I remember one time when I was home with a cold, she arrived at my doorstep with homemade wonton soup and chrysanthemum tea. The tea was packaged in little one serving packets—big yellow crystals. She left a few packets with me. As I recall, she often brought me homemade Chinese meals.

I was blessed to have Mr. Lim, his family, and Sandra in my life. At the time, I’m not sure if I didn’t take it all for granted. I look back now and realize how their generosity has affected my life. Perhaps “paying it forward” was a way of life for them. Because of them, I find myself wanting to help others, too.

Nature’s Window at de la Osa St.

We’ve been feeding the bird as long as I can remember.

We started with one hummingbird feeder in the front of the house. I kept adding on. Now, this is when my husband rolls his eyes, we have a total of nine hummingbird feeders strategically located along all walls of the house.

We have water dishes (aka bird baths) for the birds (and squirrels). There’s one dish in the front yard and two in the backyard.

We have one seed birdfeeder in the front yard and one in the back. The squirrels get their own feeder.

Several years ago I discovered Nature’s Window. It’s a speaker with a small microphone that brings the sounds outdoors inside. Sadly, the device was so powerful we couldn’t use it after 7 a.m. Otherwise we can hear the neighbor’s dogs barking, cars driving down the street, or airplanes flying overhead, and you can imagine the sounds of a lawnmower or leaf blower. O my.

Once in awhile, we get visits from hawks. Sometimes we get a cluster of crows hanging out in our trees. Last year we had a mocking bird living in a tree behind our house. (They sing at odd hours of the morning.) It can get pretty noisy around here. Just the other day, we had a crow knocking at our back sliding glass door. (I suspect looking for handouts.)

I can never get tired listening or watching birds eat/drink, or take a bath in our birdbaths. The squirrels are amusing, too. I know the cats, Adriana and Luciana, appreciate the view, too.