Trying to Find Myself - Part 2 (of 2)

This Gilda Radner quote has been a staple throughout my life. She lost her life to cancer the same year as my mom. It reminds me to embrace all that life throws at me.

To say 1989 was a harrowing year, that's an understatement. If I didn't look at my 1989 calendar, I would think I wasn't there for my mom. Yet, I was there!!! She passed away on Tuesday, September 5 at 6:50 a.m. at home. I was there.

When I decided to make the move to Los Angeles I arrived in November. The month before, I survived the Loma Prieta Earthquake on October 17, at 5:04 p.m. The World Series (Oakland Athletics and the San Francisco Giants) game 3 was on television and it seemed as though everyone was crammed in The Good Guys! conference room. Read more about this at: There Will be at Least One More BIG One in My Lifetime.

Fast forward 2008 at my Dad's memorial service. Someone asked me if it was easier to lose someone quickly or to know they are going to die soon. I was speechless. There's nothing that prepares one for death, except knowing that we will all go eventually. For me, I don't want to suffer. It’s the quality of life, not the quantity.

I learned so much about what I did and did not want in my life that year. While painful, I had to let go of many things, not just my mom. 1989 was a pivotal point in my life and it changed me forever. Life--delicious ambiguity!